morning

It 5am in the morning and I thought I would post a quick blog.

I have watching the Olympics like everyone else in Canada.
Love the sport where they snow board against one another and not because the Canadian won.
The womens' hockey has to become more competitive!
And why anything in Vancouver, they don't get winter there.

Since my Father died in October, I have known 3 others that have died. Not close, but close to friends of mine.
Now I get news that my son's godfather's father had a major heart attack on the weekend and the end is near.
I know death is part of life and we have to accept it, but it is getting tiresome.
My thoughts are with this gentleman and lets hope there is little pain in the next while. Actually my thoughts are with his family as well!

Saturday evening!

Here I am on a Saturday evening, blogging.
That's alright, this is something I like to do.
Funny though, I would have never thought that I would be home on a evening like this and be blogging.
My past, it would have been drinking!

Since our holidays, my wife has had vertigo and a sore neck. I nagged her about going to a doctor in case it was a inner ear infection or something more serious.(she finally went, they don't know yet)
So last night we went to a bar for her friend's 40th birthday. Afterwards we went to a dance club that her sister goes to for latin dancing.
I questioned this with her vertigo and sore neck, but she insisted we go.
Spinning around and drinking is not good for her ailments.
I don't dance with her because she tries and leads all the time and it drives me crazy and we shouldn't be there anyways.
I know I sound like a nag, but I was right.
All day today she laid down and did not much.
Rest is what she needs, and she is sleeping now. 10pm!

Fun!

What happen to the weekend!

I'm sitting here and all of a sudden it dawned on me, it's Sunday evening and I have to get ready for work tomorrow.
We can sit and here and think back from the last two days and examine what we did.
I've drawn a blank.....
Well lets see, I've cooked and baked all weekend.
Coached with my buddy, two days which took a total of 4 hours.(we won 9 to 1 today)
Had a few guest last evening.
Picked up the kid from snow boarding this afternoon.
Huge workout on Friday evening.
Made a pot of homemade soup.
Argued with my wife, about our lack of time together.
All the laundry.
Grocery shopping.
Geez, I guess I was busy!
Happy Monday!

Do you or don't you?

My question is not really to anyone in particular, just my subject for today.

From my previous blogs, I've stated that I have been 100% faithful and my wife has not, and not just once.
Basically I have given her certain conditions that she has to abide by in order to make this work. And I've made it very clear that even if these are done, there are no guarantees. So far, almost zero done!
The timetable, 2 years remaining, give or take a few months.
My question, do I date a lady who is interested in me and vice versa?
My wife has done whatever she has liked for at least the last decade, so do I do what she has been doing?
Morally I know the answer, but I'm talking selfishly.

What I am doing?

Since I have been away for over a year here, I'll give details of what I have been up to.
I've been reading past blogs and deleting alot of them.
A common theme in my blogs has been my weight and exercise.
These days I have my weight under control.
At the end of 2008, I was about 240lbs.
I am currently 215 and my waist size is down from 40inches to 36inches.
My goal is to drop another 10lbs and 2 more inches off my waist by the end of 2010.
I found late last year, I was lifting too much and was gaining more weight, abeit muscle.
This year I decided to increase my cardio and decrease my lifting.
Tonight I ran 3 miles (slowly) and did about 40 minutes of weights.
Lots of stretching and ab work as well.
My bitching will not be about my weight anymore.
I'll bitch about other stuff though!
Like my sore, burning legs right now.

Two in one day

I feel like blogging today!

During the last year I've had to deal with other serious issues in my life.
To be blunt, infidelity!
Not me, my wife.....Again!

Obviously having a parent sick and eventually dying takes up time and soaks up lots of emotion.
One day I'm on my wife's gmail account and she has a letter drafted to a girlfriend.
I read it and she confesses for love to another guy. There is more but the point has been made.

Instead of putting it off, I confront her immediately.
I've dealt with this in the past and was passive, but not anymore.
I asked her to do some work if she wants to save our marriage and she agrees.
It's been 9 months and nothing has been done.
I do remind her about this, but too little avail.

What I've done now is gone out and started a life for me.
I have no choice!
She resents this, but I don't really care.
I've put alot of work into this marriage and she hasn't.
She wants it to work, she is going to work it like I have in the past.
And I told no guarantees either way.
I have been brutally honest with her.

My biggest beef with her about this one is the timing.
With my Father getting sick and dying, I was vulnerable emotionally.
I needed her behind me, for support.
The last thing I needed was to have to deal with this at this time.
Actually anytime!
Does not look good moving forward!
One thing though, we get along in every day life, so existing together is not that bad.
We have tough decisions to make, apart and together.

two days in a row

After not blogging for ove a year, I'm here two days in a row.
These days I'm not being nice, not protecting some people's feelings.

When my father had his stroke, I was the son who had to phone and email all our relatives, seeing my parents were out of the country when this stroke happen.

It happened to be the toughest thing I have ever done in my life. Calling your uncle and having him cry on the phone is unbelievably heart wretching.
My Mom's sister cried, as a few cousins as well.
5 days later I realized that I probably made 50 phone calls and at least the same amount of emails.
I was completely spent, emotionally exhausted.
That day I received a email from my Mother, baasically saying they didn't know how long Dad could hang on.
I showed it to my Mother in law(who is a retired nurse) and she said "you should go over right away." I get choked up thinking about it right now.
I booked, used my airmiles, and was there 2 days later.
Again, the first day was emotionally exhausting.
Walking in the stroke ward and seeing your father there unable to do anything but cry.
I cried for awhile, but obviously the tears dried up.
The rest of the time I spent there was actually nice, just because I got away from my everyday stressful life. (meaning very emotional calls)
The last day I was there was tough, for the reason that I never thought I would see my Father alive ever again.
I did!
But it was very difficult to see a big, strong man, destroyed by a horrible illness.
He was my Dad, but now are roles were reversed.
He was the man who took care of everything, now we were in that position.
This wasn't gradual as well....
But this is life and we have to deal with it.

13 months

My first blog in 13 months, do I have any excuses?
Yea, I've been busy!

What do I say after not being here for so long, what kind of news about my life do I post here. Do I post alittle, or alot, go reader digest version, or maybe a bunch of novels.
I'll give a reader digest version. And instead of being protective about others feelings, I'm going to be brutally truthful.

As anyone read before, my Father had a stroke in April 2008.
He never recovered and he passed away in October 2009.
My Mother's birthday actually!
I phoned my Mother a few days before her birthday to see if she wanted to go out for dinner. We would hire my Father's caregiver for a few hours overtime and get my Mother out. My Mother was eager to get out, as she hadn't been out at night since last Christmas.
Half way through dinner we received a call that he was breathing funny and not responding the was he usually would.
We left immediately, returned to my parent's place and the paramedics were doing compressions on his chest.
My Mother put a stop order on and he died on the living room floor.
I watched him die.
To be honest, it wasn't that bad. He had been real sick for a while and his quality of life was poor.
He was never going to recover.
The tough part of the evening was watching my Mother tell the paramedics to stop.
My Mother is doing alright, despite losing her husband of 50 years.
More later....and not 13 months later, promise!