morning

It 5am in the morning and I thought I would post a quick blog.

I have watching the Olympics like everyone else in Canada.
Love the sport where they snow board against one another and not because the Canadian won.
The womens' hockey has to become more competitive!
And why anything in Vancouver, they don't get winter there.

Since my Father died in October, I have known 3 others that have died. Not close, but close to friends of mine.
Now I get news that my son's godfather's father had a major heart attack on the weekend and the end is near.
I know death is part of life and we have to accept it, but it is getting tiresome.
My thoughts are with this gentleman and lets hope there is little pain in the next while. Actually my thoughts are with his family as well!

Saturday evening!

Here I am on a Saturday evening, blogging.
That's alright, this is something I like to do.
Funny though, I would have never thought that I would be home on a evening like this and be blogging.
My past, it would have been drinking!

Since our holidays, my wife has had vertigo and a sore neck. I nagged her about going to a doctor in case it was a inner ear infection or something more serious.(she finally went, they don't know yet)
So last night we went to a bar for her friend's 40th birthday. Afterwards we went to a dance club that her sister goes to for latin dancing.
I questioned this with her vertigo and sore neck, but she insisted we go.
Spinning around and drinking is not good for her ailments.
I don't dance with her because she tries and leads all the time and it drives me crazy and we shouldn't be there anyways.
I know I sound like a nag, but I was right.
All day today she laid down and did not much.
Rest is what she needs, and she is sleeping now. 10pm!

Fun!

What happen to the weekend!

I'm sitting here and all of a sudden it dawned on me, it's Sunday evening and I have to get ready for work tomorrow.
We can sit and here and think back from the last two days and examine what we did.
I've drawn a blank.....
Well lets see, I've cooked and baked all weekend.
Coached with my buddy, two days which took a total of 4 hours.(we won 9 to 1 today)
Had a few guest last evening.
Picked up the kid from snow boarding this afternoon.
Huge workout on Friday evening.
Made a pot of homemade soup.
Argued with my wife, about our lack of time together.
All the laundry.
Grocery shopping.
Geez, I guess I was busy!
Happy Monday!

Do you or don't you?

My question is not really to anyone in particular, just my subject for today.

From my previous blogs, I've stated that I have been 100% faithful and my wife has not, and not just once.
Basically I have given her certain conditions that she has to abide by in order to make this work. And I've made it very clear that even if these are done, there are no guarantees. So far, almost zero done!
The timetable, 2 years remaining, give or take a few months.
My question, do I date a lady who is interested in me and vice versa?
My wife has done whatever she has liked for at least the last decade, so do I do what she has been doing?
Morally I know the answer, but I'm talking selfishly.

What I am doing?

Since I have been away for over a year here, I'll give details of what I have been up to.
I've been reading past blogs and deleting alot of them.
A common theme in my blogs has been my weight and exercise.
These days I have my weight under control.
At the end of 2008, I was about 240lbs.
I am currently 215 and my waist size is down from 40inches to 36inches.
My goal is to drop another 10lbs and 2 more inches off my waist by the end of 2010.
I found late last year, I was lifting too much and was gaining more weight, abeit muscle.
This year I decided to increase my cardio and decrease my lifting.
Tonight I ran 3 miles (slowly) and did about 40 minutes of weights.
Lots of stretching and ab work as well.
My bitching will not be about my weight anymore.
I'll bitch about other stuff though!
Like my sore, burning legs right now.

Two in one day

I feel like blogging today!

During the last year I've had to deal with other serious issues in my life.
To be blunt, infidelity!
Not me, my wife.....Again!

Obviously having a parent sick and eventually dying takes up time and soaks up lots of emotion.
One day I'm on my wife's gmail account and she has a letter drafted to a girlfriend.
I read it and she confesses for love to another guy. There is more but the point has been made.

Instead of putting it off, I confront her immediately.
I've dealt with this in the past and was passive, but not anymore.
I asked her to do some work if she wants to save our marriage and she agrees.
It's been 9 months and nothing has been done.
I do remind her about this, but too little avail.

What I've done now is gone out and started a life for me.
I have no choice!
She resents this, but I don't really care.
I've put alot of work into this marriage and she hasn't.
She wants it to work, she is going to work it like I have in the past.
And I told no guarantees either way.
I have been brutally honest with her.

My biggest beef with her about this one is the timing.
With my Father getting sick and dying, I was vulnerable emotionally.
I needed her behind me, for support.
The last thing I needed was to have to deal with this at this time.
Actually anytime!
Does not look good moving forward!
One thing though, we get along in every day life, so existing together is not that bad.
We have tough decisions to make, apart and together.

two days in a row

After not blogging for ove a year, I'm here two days in a row.
These days I'm not being nice, not protecting some people's feelings.

When my father had his stroke, I was the son who had to phone and email all our relatives, seeing my parents were out of the country when this stroke happen.

It happened to be the toughest thing I have ever done in my life. Calling your uncle and having him cry on the phone is unbelievably heart wretching.
My Mom's sister cried, as a few cousins as well.
5 days later I realized that I probably made 50 phone calls and at least the same amount of emails.
I was completely spent, emotionally exhausted.
That day I received a email from my Mother, baasically saying they didn't know how long Dad could hang on.
I showed it to my Mother in law(who is a retired nurse) and she said "you should go over right away." I get choked up thinking about it right now.
I booked, used my airmiles, and was there 2 days later.
Again, the first day was emotionally exhausting.
Walking in the stroke ward and seeing your father there unable to do anything but cry.
I cried for awhile, but obviously the tears dried up.
The rest of the time I spent there was actually nice, just because I got away from my everyday stressful life. (meaning very emotional calls)
The last day I was there was tough, for the reason that I never thought I would see my Father alive ever again.
I did!
But it was very difficult to see a big, strong man, destroyed by a horrible illness.
He was my Dad, but now are roles were reversed.
He was the man who took care of everything, now we were in that position.
This wasn't gradual as well....
But this is life and we have to deal with it.

13 months

My first blog in 13 months, do I have any excuses?
Yea, I've been busy!

What do I say after not being here for so long, what kind of news about my life do I post here. Do I post alittle, or alot, go reader digest version, or maybe a bunch of novels.
I'll give a reader digest version. And instead of being protective about others feelings, I'm going to be brutally truthful.

As anyone read before, my Father had a stroke in April 2008.
He never recovered and he passed away in October 2009.
My Mother's birthday actually!
I phoned my Mother a few days before her birthday to see if she wanted to go out for dinner. We would hire my Father's caregiver for a few hours overtime and get my Mother out. My Mother was eager to get out, as she hadn't been out at night since last Christmas.
Half way through dinner we received a call that he was breathing funny and not responding the was he usually would.
We left immediately, returned to my parent's place and the paramedics were doing compressions on his chest.
My Mother put a stop order on and he died on the living room floor.
I watched him die.
To be honest, it wasn't that bad. He had been real sick for a while and his quality of life was poor.
He was never going to recover.
The tough part of the evening was watching my Mother tell the paramedics to stop.
My Mother is doing alright, despite losing her husband of 50 years.
More later....and not 13 months later, promise!

Christmas

Everyone ready?
Of course you all are!
Me, almost, but I have to take my 14 year old son/IT manager to get his mother's gift.
I haven't even been to any Christmas parties yet, but some this weekend.
Two weeks ago my company had a party 45kms away. Normally this distance isn't a big deal, but I arrived home to get ready and put on the tv on the traffic cameras and the traffic was so bad, it would have taken over an hour and a half to get there.
I said forget it!
Last weekend I bailed from my cousins's party, I had some sort of mild stomach virus and didn't want to spread germs.
This weekend we have two Saturday parties, and we're going to try and make both.
The first being an annual party that old neighbours of mine have for years.
Since my Father is incapable of going and my Mother to stressed to go, I'll go on behave of my parents. Kind of sad really but that's life.
The second being a birthday party for the wife of a childhood friend of mine. And it's at a bar, which I like since I don't get out to these places very often.

I have been working out 3 times a week and it's starting to show. My biceps are getting bigger and the chest is more musucular, but I still haven't lost enough weight. I know muscle weighs more than fat, but....
I started this just trying to prevent man boobs and keep a healthy heart.
It's working!

My Father is still in the hospital. His discharge date is Friday, but the doctor doesn't think this will happen.
His heart rate is low, and they haven't figured out why. So much for his pacemaker!
My Mother has started looking for long term care facilities on the advice of her case worker and this really depresses her.
They've been married for 49 years and she's not ready to give up hope yet, but at the same time she has to be realistic.
I just booked off Friday at work to be able to help my parents if they need it.

Plus Friday we're supposed to get a bloody big snowstorm and at that time I'll have 45 hours already for the week, so I won't need anymore hours.

Driving a rig in a snowstorm is as bad as you would think. The thought is worse than actually doing it.
Just go slow and don't hammer the brakes if you can help it.
But a day at home sounds nicer.

me

Well I turn 45 today!
My wife asked me what I want and all I wanted was to spend an hour with my Father and family, particularly with my son. There may not be another year to do that!

So last night we went too see the Quantim of Solace. Not as good as the last one, but still pretty good. Action was furious, story not as good as before. Still Daniel Craig is the best Bond, period. Sean Connery is close though.

Going to work out in a hour, still keeping that up most of the time. Haven't lost much weight but am much stronger. My golf game this summer, most of the drives were quite abit longer.
Too bad the rest of my game sucks.

Busy Life

I just realized that I haven't posted in a while....Life is like that these days.

My Father who had a massive stroke in April, has been in a rehab facility the last couple months, with a discharge date of this week.
Unfornuately he had a setback last week, two seizures with the second one being pretty severe. He stopped breathing for a minute or so, fortunately a nurse was in the room with him at the time.
We didn't know if he would make through the night, but he did. He's weak, but stable now and not coming home anytime soon.
Poor guy, he's been through way too much that anyone should have to.
As bad as it is for him, I really feel for my mother.

As for me, I'm fine. I'm resigned that my Father won't ever be the same, but I'll always be there for him and my mother.
It would be nice to have a conversation with him one more time.....

More news

My life has been a holding pattern for the last few months.

With my Father having a massive stroke in April while on vacation in England, my Mother having to deal with that and me moving to a new house, life has been busy and alot of questions were unanswered.

Now the questions are starting to get answered!

Our move has been typical, money going on lawyers, taxes, and broken suprises through out. Most of this has been dealt with. 

This is my first house that I really want to spend my years until retirement, and maybe beyond. Now I have to get my wife to think the same way!

My Mother moved back to my hometown on Friday. The same day my Father was accepted into a long term rehab centre. Now he can get the proper treatment to determine how he will live the rest of his life.

That might be at home, or a nursing home, but at least he's going to find out in the coming months. 

My Mother was so relieved the other day. No commuting two hours north in the winter months and being able to keep a eye on her husband. I was relieved as well!

Rainy here

Well I'm back!

It's been crazy for me this summer. 

We moved, Dad is still not improving alot, which means I've been taking the 2 hour drive up to there place quite abit and there isn't more than 24 hours aday and 7 days aweek, which I need.

I haven't even been playing hockey, just no time. I finally made it back to the gym after a 5 week absense and I survived that. I went to go back to hockey two weeks ago and I stubbed my toe and broke the damn thing. Awfull shade of purple and black and the darn thing puffed up to double its size. It somewhat back to normal now. Still alittle sore though!

Went to Wonderland with my son and went on most of the big rollercoasters. I haven't been on one in 20 years or so and I still liked them. Maybe Disneyworld this winter for a vacation.

I don't know what the weather has been like elsewhere, but we set the alltime yearly rainfall last week. In the weekend newspaper it said we still had sunshine all but 4 days.  I planted my sickly tomato plants 4 weeks late and as of 5 hours ago, most of them were around 5 feet tall. All we need is tomatoes now. If they don't grow alot of tomatoes, I wouldn't be upset, I've put zero effort into them.  I hope there is some fruit on them, hmmmmm tomato and cheese sandwiches.....

Time off

My favourite time of year, no work for two weeks.

I'd call it holidays but we're really not going to a place to kick back and relax.

We're heading to my sister's place in the States for around 6 days and doing things around here the rest of the time.

I'll go and see my Father in the second week. Speaking of which, he's making progress now. They got him a custom wheelchair and once he figured it out, he snuck outside two days ago. This is the same guy who was bedridden three weeks ago. His right side is responding alittle and my Sister made him curse during speech therapy. Baby steps, but that's good....

One thing I'll do during my time off is rid the main floor of all boxes and get the kitchen organized the way we all want it. Also, I want to park a car in the garage, so getting rid of more crap in there. Wow, exciting holidays....

At least I'm not working.

Stressed and tired

I said I'd would write more and I will.......

Yesterday I went to  visit my Father at the hospital, he's doing the same. Which is not good. 

A massive stroke has to have immediate progress or recovery becomes less likely, which  is looking like whats happening.

My Mother has to do a thousand things and I feel for her. So many questions, so little answers and not much she can do.

On top of all that, we moved last weekend and now are living out of boxes. Place looks great and

I love it, but alot of work.

Stessful and I haven't worked out lately and that's coming to an end next week. Seeing my Father like he is now, makes you want to stay healthy. Poor guy!

Good news, the kid graduates on Monday, high school next year.

Golf tournament tomorrow and my team sucks. Oh well, let's hope the weather is nice.

Happy Friday

Long weekend here in Canada, Victoria Day.
Happy birthday Queen Victoria.
Thank you for the extra day off with pay.....

I just spent a week in England to be with my ailing Father and support my Mother, so at least I feel something towards England these days.
I'm going to get back under better circumstances soon.

My parents were on vacation when my Father had a massive stroke.
The English healthcare system has been wonderful, can't say as much towards the insurance companies.
They've been harassing my Mother this week, but thankfully my siblings are there right now.
We need a bed in Canada, near Toronto, ASAP.

Anyways my Father is slowly making progress, but has a long way to go. I tell you one thing, a stroke is nasty and can make a strong man mere mortal in seconds....

Happy everything!

Not trying to be politically correct, but it's past Christmas and all, so....

I've had the last 8 days off and I figured that I would post here a few times and work out a bunch and this and that, but I've no bloody time to do anything.
We started by having close friends over last weekend, then Sunday after shopping, the kid's godfather shows up. Nice to see him but give us notice. Actually he was real generous to our son and actually read his report card and had some interest.
Christmas Eve, mass and more guest after.
Christmas Day is what it is!
Boxing Day my son and I got up at 4:30am to go shopping for specials. He didn't get the game he wanted, but bought a router for 75% off and I bought a camera, phone, MP3 and a scanner, and saved about 50%..
Went to a party that night and was cold shouldered by a friends wife.(more on that later)
Thursday went to a movie, and then just before we purchased a ticket, a friend phoned.
so instead of a movie, my wife and I went for drinks and food and got home at 1:30am.
Last night was free, but this morning went out downtown and met my cousin for brunch. Got home at 4pm and after laundry and dinner, here I am!
Oh yeah, tomorrow a childhood friend of my wife is in town and they are meeting at the science centre. I got out of that one!
Busy busy busy.....

Friend's wife is moody anyways.
Last time we played hockey, we were talking about Christmas day and what we were doing. Since his father died a couple months back, I had more interest than usual. He casually asked me over for a drink, no strings.
I said if I had time, sure but no guarantees.
I ran out of time on Christmas day.
Soon as I walked into the Boxing Day party, I knew she was mad and I said sorry.
I went to my buddy and said the same and he was fine and we had a drink and bitched about The Leafs.
When they met, she was rude to me for about 3 years, before she was nicer.
I felt bad and now I don't because she doesn't deserve it.
My buddy does though...

October already!

Now that about ten weeks have past since I last blogged, I thought I'd try to get my average up alittle.

For some reason, I had problems accessing this account, but I somehow figured it out.

I just had my 19th wedding aniversary, yeah 19!
We went golfing one day and out for dinner another. Not too romantic, but it was on a Monday and it wasn't 20.
Next year, I want to go to Puerto Vallarta, it will be our 20th then.
I've been researching properties and prices recently, so I think we'll be able to go for a good price. And tequilla of course!
I love tequilla, straight up, yum yum.....

One reason I haven't been blogging is that my son does mega homework on this computer and my wife does her work here.
That and I've been facebooking lately.(crackbook) It's cool that it's so easy to keep in touch with high school friends and relatives.

I'm going to make an effort to blog once a week, honest.

Much ado about What?

In my efforts to improve myself, my better half suggested we see Shakespeare in the park.
My son and I kind of went along with the idea, though my son less, as he brought his book to read.
Really nice evening out, bring the lawn chairs, some beverages and we were set.
This play starts...........
What is this......
More importantly.....what are thay saying?
This is English?

I couldn't understand a freakin word of this, nor could my son. My wife said she understood, but I have doubts.
I grab the program to at least see the storyline.
People in the audience were laughing. What? They understood?
Then the actors were playing different parts, I figure just to screw with my head.
The first half finished and I heard people chatting of much they are enjoying it.

Second half starts, I understand alittle more, so I enjoy it alittle more.
I'm thinking sub-titles would be good.
I don't mention this to my wife, who is enjoying everything.
The play is over and I stayed awake.
So did my son.

I can understand one's appreciation with this art, but it's not for me.

Next day my wife says we should go to Stratford Festival next year and see a couple plays.
Maybe with sub-titles.

Details....

Well my weekend post just happen on Wednesday, again busy busy busy.......
Mexico in more detail....
We arrived on the Saturday around 1sh in the afternoon. They lost our luggage at the resort until almost dinner time. We were not impressed!
Luckily I told my family to wear a bathing suit under their pants so we could enjoy the outside world right away.
First day was sunny and around 90, very tough to take.
On Sunday we started to explore and realized that this place is huge. So large that they have a trolley system to get you around.
The resort has 3 main hotels and a hacienda. Ours was the oldest, but right on the beach and very central. Our room had a lovely view of the Caribbean Sea, which I made every effort to enjoy everyday.
On Sunday we really did just enjoyed the whole resort and the weather.
On Monday we went to the other hotel to enjoy their beach and bar. They had this bar that had swings for seats, and I used them.
We took side trips the Playa De Carmen, Xel Ha and the Tulum ruins.
Playa is a quaint town known for shopping about 20 minutes north of where we were staying. I enjoyed sampling all the beer that I could not get at the hotel.
Xel Ha is a natural water park, snorkling and stuff like that. That was a good day!
Tulum ruins was interesting, but the beach there was gorgeous. That day we there it rained all morning at the resart and was hot and sunny at the ruins.
The beauty of where we stayed is that we could take the local buses to get to these places and it cost very little. Organized excursions from hotels are costly.
The food was good most of the time.
My son now likes sushi and lobster, nice $$$$$$
It rained half a day and 1 evening and the weather never got under 83ish.
My son and I loved it and would go back in a second. My wife thought it should be warmer and probably wouldn't go back.

I'll write more about it later....